Pastor Rick Warren, well-known for creating memorable acrostics to convey his groundbreaking church initiatives like PEACE, SHAPE and CHURCH, has unveiled his latest teaching on Christian humility called the RICK Plan. Says Warren, “As Christians who have received greater spiritual insight than people of other religions, we can easily fall into the trap of acting superior. But Jesus said we need to humbly serve others without concern for our preeminence in the world, and that’s what my new RICK Plan is all about.”
RICK stands for: Remember others first; Imitate Christ; Create opportunities for service; and Keep your ego in check.
Warren believes his new strategy is essential for the success of the Church and plans to implement it throughout his Purpose Driven network until RICK covers the globe. “I’ve come to realize how important humility is, and I want other Christians to understand it, too,” Warren explained. “In fact, just the other day I was telling Bono how I practically created another Pentecost at Saddleback’s last membership drive. All of a sudden the phone rings and it’s a call from the White House. It was Barry wanting some pastoral advice. This is the kind of humbling situation that I hope others can learn to experience someday, too.”
When asked about the critics who charge that his new global humility plan is just a veiled marketing campaign to force his personal agenda on the Church, Warren responded, “Hey, the RICK Plan isn’t about me.”
In an attempt to combat a severe drop in attendance every time their popular preacher goes on vacation, Marina Bay Community Church made the shocking announcement that they have cloned their longtime pastor, Rev. Spencer Klagg. To make this possible, Marina Bay enlisted the help of RevClone, a new Christian cloning facility in Southern California dedicated to multiplying the current pool of dynamic preaching celebrities.
Not to be outdone by the Golden Globes or the Academy Awards, the Biblical Organization Against Selfish Tendencies (BOAST) has announced their nominees for the sixth annual Christian Humility Awards. Dubbed the “Meekys,” these awards will be given to those special evangelicals who have displayed “exceptional humility in their service to God” during the last year. BOAST’s director, Webster Peabody, hopes the Meekys will redefine a growing award industry that places too much emphasis on self-importance and worldly success. “We believe that if the meek are going to inherit the earth, then hey, they ought to inherit some of these awards too.”
