The Sacred Sandwich
  • Archives
  • March3rd

    An exciting new event is unveiled at the Southern Baptist Convention’s Winter X Games: Deacon Chunkin’.

  • May2nd

    Among the church building improvements proposed by Deacon Weems: cushioned seating, a second restroom, and a trap door under the pulpit in case the sermon goes too long.

  • March12th

    When Webster Kemp was told he would have to  wear many hats as the church’s only deacon,  he misunderstood.

  • February7th

    An experiment at Gateway Baptist to replace church workers with robots took a tragic turn when a mechanized deacon attacked Betty Nickerson for voicing an opinion during Sunday school. “We had no idea robots took 1st Corinthians 14:34 so literally,” said Pastor Buck Lewis. “It never showed up in his spiritual gifts assessment.” The offending robot was later reassigned as an expresso machine in the church’s coffee bar.

  • December10th

    Newly appointed as door greeter at Cambridge Baptist Church, Deacon Carson was thrilled when he found the perfect suit to wear on Sunday.