The Sacred Sandwich

August30th

17 Comments

GRAIN VALLEY, MO — For over two weeks now, hundreds of people have flocked to a small home in the quiet suburb of Grain Valley to see a hazy image of the Virgin Mary that recently appeared inside an old picture on the wall. For the throng of faithful visitors that clutch their prayer beads and kneel before the apparition, this is a miracle from God that has brought them newfound hope and comforting assurance that she watches over them. For one worshipper, the image has even healed him of male pattern baldness.

Homeowner Agnes Devota Donnelly discovered the likeness of the Holy Mother after a roof leak left water stains on a framed portrait of a bearded, long-haired man that hung in her sewing room. “When I saw the Blessed Virgin within the hair of that portrait, it was like having a big-time celebrity suddenly appear in my home,” explained Donnelly. “Sorta like Angelina Jolie, only much more Catholic.”

Though the archdiocese had no official comment, Father Patrick Kilpatrick of the local parish was hopeful that the Marian apparition would bring a renewed devotion to Christ in the community. “I know some people think that this adoration of Mary usurps the preeminence of Jesus, but I just don’t see it. I mean, am I missing something here?”

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17 Comments

  • Comment by Stephen Cracknell — August 30, 2010 @ 7:08 am

    I actually know Agnes Devota Donnelly. In her family of 16 she is the youngest sister of the eldest brother called Robert Donnelly (formerly of Donnellyville). He is the webmaster of christianfaith.com.au He runs this site on pension days after a sacred sandwich at Agnes’ corner store.

  • Comment by Don — August 30, 2010 @ 7:27 am

    Wait a minute isn’t Agnes the one who had the Jesus toast for auction on Ebay?

  • Comment by Cory D. Jones — August 30, 2010 @ 8:47 am

    Love it!! One of the best ones yet!

  • Comment by Dorci — August 30, 2010 @ 8:51 am

    I chuckle a bit when I read that, but mostly I just feel saddened.

  • Comment by Les — August 30, 2010 @ 10:14 am

    Too funny and too sad.

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    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by FakeSpurgeon, DNC DUDES. DNC DUDES said: @glennbeck Appearance of Virgin Mary Brings Faithful to Woman’s Home: Are we missing something here? http://bit.ly/cOEOR0 #tcot [...]

  • Comment by Mike Westfall — August 30, 2010 @ 12:00 pm

    I’m still waiting for someone to find a miraculous image of a piece of toast on a communion wafer…

  • Comment by Sharon D. — August 30, 2010 @ 12:49 pm

    “Sorta like Angelina Jolie, only much more Catholic.”

    Best. Line. Ever.

  • Comment by Carol — August 30, 2010 @ 6:58 pm

    This is a gem….How true it is, people gather around a cowchip with the image of Mary and people have renewed faith in Catholicism.

  • Comment by dominic — August 31, 2010 @ 3:02 am

    My background an knee-jerk “horror reaction means that I’m not sure whether this is a true claim. I’m afraid that as an ex-Roman priest, saved from all that by God’s grace, I just can’t see these things as funny because I know so many people who really, really believe this garbage. For instance, living near Ireland I have met several people who went to Knock and “saw the statue move”, and living near France I have met several people who have “been healed” at Lourdes.

    For Mike: Besides the bizarre claim, oft-repeated, that the communion wafer IS ACTUALLY Jesus they have already claimed to have found such an image on a communion wafer.
    Dorci & Les: I share your sadness, along with a pain in the gut brought on by the thought of what the Roman church does to people.

  • Comment by LuLu — August 31, 2010 @ 6:43 am

    At least this “sighting” wasn’t under a freeway overpass, in the snow on the side on a mountain,on someone’s roof,or at the bottom of a pool. Playing “Where’s Mary” can get dangerous in more ways than one!

  • Comment by pastorblastor — August 31, 2010 @ 10:03 am

    Imagine my surprise when watching the local evening news in San Jose, CA one night. The reporter was on the scene where people were gathered to view the Virgin Mary’s appearance every night at about dusk on the side of a house. Breathlessly they all waited, candles lit, hands clasping rosary beads, and genuflecting. In the background the local power company sent out a worker to clean the light globe on the nearby street lamp. We see the lift in the background take the worker to the light, he wipes the globe, and shock ensues in the crowd — the Virgin disappears! – True story! Being a Catholic at the time that hated these kinds of things, I laughed until my sides hurt.

  • Comment by Rob — August 31, 2010 @ 11:32 am

    And this image of the Virgin Mary appeared on just some ordinary picture of “a bearded, long-haired man”. That’s awesome.

  • Comment by Jim Pemberton — August 31, 2010 @ 1:56 pm

    “Newfound hope”? The old hope wasn’t good enough?

  • Comment by Carol — August 31, 2010 @ 6:15 pm

    While I can’t speak for other readers, when I see something like this, the “laugh” reaction is not hysterical funny, but a strange reaction like “Are you serious?” type of thing.

    It’s not funny when people are looking to Mary for answers when she was not the Redeemer. But it’s just a peculiarity when we see people gather around some food item or a shadow on a wall and they think this is some spiritual experience. Like seeing “The World’s Strongest Redneck” posted on a bulletin board at a supermarket, an ad for some church’s “guest speaker”.

  • Comment by Cory D. Jones — September 1, 2010 @ 2:22 am

    Carol, I concur. While the satire is funny, the reality is dire (and very much NOT amusing).

  • Comment by lauradell2 — September 5, 2010 @ 4:15 am

    A little levity levits the whole lump.
    And many lumps could use a bit more leviting…
    (no offense intended)

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