9 Comments

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  Comment by Carol — April 22, 2010 @ 3:09 pm

  While he tried to explain the purpose of thermonuclear red wine and the need for a radioisotope alcohol extractor for the communion wine, the other deacons declined the church budget being used for such frivolous things. They did, however, decide upon a new upgrade on their powerpoint system.

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  Comment by stranger.strange.land — April 22, 2010 @ 3:36 pm

  Conrad had never been satisfied with the “memorial” understanding of the sacrament, nor did he believe in “spiritual presence.” No. “Real presence through chemical reaction” was what he had his sights set on.

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  Comment by dominic — April 23, 2010 @ 2:37 am

  That’s fun – gave me a good giggle this morning…

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  Comment by rick — April 23, 2010 @ 5:20 am

  Deacon Conrad was convinced he could empirically settle the question once and for all between transubstantiation and consubstantiation.

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  Comment by twpeck — April 23, 2010 @ 1:49 pm

  Actually, he was trying to create a clinkless communion cup because it is a bothersome noise when the Baptists all put them at once in the little holders on the pew/chair in front of them

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  Comment by Andy — April 23, 2010 @ 1:58 pm

  I heard that the experiments were aimed at guaranteeing that the communion “wine” was alcohol-free.

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  Comment by Joseph S. — April 24, 2010 @ 2:52 am

  Due to a recent dip in tithing, Deacon Jones decided to serve the traditional Sunday School coffee in smaller cups.

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  Comment by SamWise — April 24, 2010 @ 10:21 pm

  Deacon Conrad believed he could concentrate the flavonoid phenolics and “Resveratrol” to increase HDL cholesterol and prevent blood clotting! This would keep the offering plate fuller over time with less heart attacks in the congregation!

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  Comment by Carol — April 26, 2010 @ 6:33 pm

  Oh, only the red wine can bring those benefits.

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