Opening Soon: The Jack Bauer School of Persuasive Apologetics!
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March23rd
33 Comments
Jack Bauer School of Evangelism
Posted in: Ad Absurdum
33 Comments
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Comment by BJS,F — March 23, 2010 @ 2:24 pm
Where do I sign up? : )
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Comment by Jason D. — March 23, 2010 @ 2:34 pm
Do we even have a choice to not sign up? ;D
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Comment by Tim Sleeper — March 23, 2010 @ 4:05 pm
“Sign up today and get your free tazer or sidearm!”
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Comment by Andy — March 23, 2010 @ 4:21 pm
After your first 1,000 converts, you’ll be taught the “Mannix Right Hook” slay-in-the-Spirit technique.
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Comment by Mike Miller — March 23, 2010 @ 6:12 pm
They started to teaching this at the Christian university I attend. They are projecting to have 10,000 new converts by next year.
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Comment by Carol — March 23, 2010 @ 7:25 pm
With this type of evangelism, they will think nothing of predestination, and much about brute force.
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Comment by dangerTIM — March 23, 2010 @ 9:27 pm
Oh, Angus, this was great!
“WHERE ARE YOU GOING WHEN YOU DIE!?!”
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Comment by Kay — March 23, 2010 @ 10:32 pm
Call now and we’ll also send you an autographed copy of the Chuck Norris Bible!
http://sacredsandwich.com/archives/5207 -
Comment by Eddie Eddings — March 23, 2010 @ 11:10 pm
This is classic sandwich! It will go down in the Hall of Maim! Love it!
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Comment by Michael — March 23, 2010 @ 11:18 pm
sounds like Jack Hyles style!
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Comment by Scott Webber — March 24, 2010 @ 12:34 am
I would prefer the Jack Lelane Evangelism School. At least you get a juicer out of it.
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Comment by Dominic — March 24, 2010 @ 4:41 am
Scared into righteousness…
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Comment by Dominic — March 24, 2010 @ 4:41 am
…I don’t think so…
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Comment by Jason — March 24, 2010 @ 5:07 am
I attended the cross-town rival of the Jack Bauer school – the Dirty Harry School of Teaching and Admonition. Our motto was: “Do ya feel saved? Well do ya, punk?” Programs included a bachelor’s, masters, and the coveted “third” degree.
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Comment by Eddie Eddings — March 24, 2010 @ 5:39 am
Jason, that is hilarious.
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Comment by LuLu — March 24, 2010 @ 7:14 am
My Mom told me this story: They had a man in their church who went up to folks during the “Altar Call” and asked them,”…Do you want to get saved? Do you want to go forward?…No?…well,go to Hell then!”
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Comment by rick — March 24, 2010 @ 7:49 am
Nothing better than going out into the highways and byways to compel them to come in, eh? So nice to see someone who gets it when it comes to Irresistible Grace.
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Comment by D — March 24, 2010 @ 8:06 am
HA HA…man that is a great picture
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Pingback by Jack Bauer School of Evangelism « Justification by Grace — March 24, 2010 @ 10:12 am
[...] HERE for the original Sacred Sandwich post, or copy & paste this URL for your browser, http://sacredsandwich.com/archives/6702 Explore posts in the same categories: Resources [...]
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Pingback by Tweets that mention Jack Bauer School of Evangelism - The Sacred Sandwich -- Topsy.com — March 24, 2010 @ 11:40 am
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Comment by Chloe O'Brian — March 24, 2010 @ 1:31 pm
He means it, too!
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Comment by -E — March 24, 2010 @ 2:46 pm
You talkin’ to me? I say, are you talkin’ to me?
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Comment by Brian — March 24, 2010 @ 4:43 pm
I hear there are some very persausive arguments from design in his apologetics school.
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Comment by Carol — March 24, 2010 @ 7:05 pm
Ha. The Jack La Laine School of Evangelism….if you don’t convert, he’ll beat you to a pulp….
There are differing ideas on the force some are the Clint Eastwood School of evangelism that dares to ask the prospective saint, “Make my day…” Or the Godfather type of evangelism that approaches salvation with, “We’ll make them an offer they can’t refuse…” Which brings the symbolism of a fish at the doorstep beyond that of being “fishers of men”….
Some years ago there was a brief moment of brute evangelism between the Steven Segal and the Jean Claude Van Damme School of “Say your prayers or we’ll karate chop ya into submission.”…Ya know, nothing is new under the sun…
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Comment by Eddie Eddings — March 25, 2010 @ 4:03 am
WOW! Right now you have 24 comments! Get it? 24…Jack Bauer…I hope no one comes along and ruins that!
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Comment by Todd Baucum — March 25, 2010 @ 2:28 pm
Brilliant work! I look forward to enrolling in the first class in his apologetics. It is great timing for the postmodern relativistic ninnies that abound. Let me know where I can sign up?
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Comment by Carol — March 25, 2010 @ 5:26 pm
It also means that with this type of methodology, it beats the inner silence and breath prayers.
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Comment by SamWise — March 25, 2010 @ 11:16 pm
Sample Practical Lesson include:
Proto-Evangelism: Learn how to prepare your target for the gospel (requires handy Rope and Chair)
Answering Objections: Learn classic dramatic lines designed to end your tragets resistance to your spiel (Life Bouy bar may be required)
Closing: How to move targets into hasty un-though-out decisions through intimidation and invasion of personal space!
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Pingback by Jack Bauer School of Evangelism « Shanewaldrop.com — May 10, 2010 @ 9:42 pm
[...] Jack Bauer School of Evangelism By fuelshane Leave a Comment UncategorizedCategories: http://sacredsandwich.com/archives/6702 [...]
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Pingback by Latte Links (5/15/10) | Caffeinated Thoughts — May 15, 2010 @ 7:38 pm
[...] The Jack Bauer School of Evangelism (HT: Shane Waldrop) [...]
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Pingback by The Jack Bauer School of Evangelism « The Scribbled Fish — May 18, 2010 @ 4:53 pm
[...] With thanks to the sacredsandwich [...]
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Comment by Glenn — June 14, 2010 @ 2:12 am
It’s not a question of whether or not you will believe, it’s just a question of how much you want it to hurt.
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Pingback by Welcome to The Jack Bauer School of Evangelism | The Church Sofa — May 20, 2011 @ 7:41 am
[...] With thanks to the sacredsandwich [...]
