The Sacred Sandwich

February11th

26 Comments

by Krista Graham, Special to The Sacred Sandwich

Once there was a man named Philippe. He was a spiritual guide in an emerging community. One day he decided to go on a journey. So, he did. As he was walking along the road, focusing on the journey and not the destination, he found himself alongside the chariot of an African official. The man in the chariot was reading from a parchment scroll. He was reading aloud, so Philippe was able to overhear what the man read.

“He was led like a sheep to the slaughter,
and as a lamb before the shearer is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
In his humiliation he was deprived of justice.
Who can speak of his descendants?
For his life was taken from the earth.”

Philippe caught up to the chariot and said, “You read that text beautifully. It made me feel significant and connected to ancient traditions to hear you read it.”

“I just wish I could understand it,” the man replied.

“Understand it? You don’t need to understand it. Just to experience it. Read it again, more slowly this time. I want to hear the poetic forms and imagine myself in the context of the ancient tradition,” said Philippe.

“Who is he talking about?” the man persisted. “Is the prophet writing about himself or about someone else?”

“I think he is writing about all of us,” said Philippe. “I think we are all a part of the larger story.”

“But what story?” asked the official. “It seems to me that the writer is talking about something in particular, and I sense that it is important. I just wish I knew what it was. What exactly does this mean?”

“What do YOU think it means?” asked Philippe.

“I don’t know. That is why I am asking YOU.”

“Well, it is true that I am a Christ-follower, and my tradition does impose certain meanings on this text. But I would not want to force my truth claims on you. Your truth claims would be equally valid. As you see, we are both on a journey; and we both find ourselves on the same road. So, it follows that our destination is also the same. So, let’s just enjoy this time of community and not divide ourselves by discussing meanings and dogma,” said Philippe.

After awhile, they came to a pool of water by the side of the road. There was also a fork in the road at this point, and the official chose the road to the right. Philippe planned to take the road to the left, but first he sat down by the edge of the pool to journal his experiences of the day. He was delighted that he had had an unique opportunity to engage in a dialogue with a person of a culture so diverse from his own.

Meanwhile, the African official went on his way, still searching for the meaning of the text that could have brought him eternal life.

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26 Comments

  • Comment by Mark Parkhurst — February 11, 2010 @ 2:28 pm

    Hey Krista…You are finally getting up there. Just watch; you’re gonna become the next best known Christian author. If this is your dream, I say go for it!

  • Comment by el Tee Chaplain — February 11, 2010 @ 2:43 pm

    Absolutely hilarious. Thanks!

  • Comment by Everyday Mommy — February 11, 2010 @ 2:46 pm

    Humorous, but at the same time heartbreaking. I would guess that was your intention. Well done.

  • Comment by 3John13 — February 11, 2010 @ 3:34 pm

    So glad that’s not how the real story went.
    But, then again, I’ve actually read the original story. One of the problems is that so many people haven’t. 2 Timothy 3:16-17

  • Comment by Kevin Sorensen — February 11, 2010 @ 4:26 pm

    Just add that as he sat beside the pool of water, he brewed some herbal tea, smoked a fine cigar, and you’ve got the finishing touches. Well done!

  • Pingback by Philippe, The Postmodern Evangelist | The Sacred Sandwich | Outer Rim Territories — February 11, 2010 @ 4:49 pm

    [...] Hilarious. From the always funny Sacred Sandwich: [...]

  • Comment by SamWise — February 11, 2010 @ 6:57 pm

    The PoMo version might also have went like this:

    The African official returned to Philippe by the pool and said, “Is there not much water here…What prevents me from baptizing you?”

    And they both went down into the water, Philippe and the African official, and he baptized him. And when they came up out of the water, a spirit came upon Philippe so that he was went back to harrass the church with his new African desert enlightenment!

  • Pingback by The Sacred Sandwich: Phillipe, the Postmodern Evangelist « One In Jesus.info — February 11, 2010 @ 10:02 pm

    [...] The Sacred Sandwich: Phillipe, the Postmodern Evangelist Posted on February 11, 2010 by Jay Guin The Sacred Sandwich is always good for a bit of Calvinistic/Evangelical humor. Check out the Postmodern Evangelist. [...]

  • Comment by Gareth — February 12, 2010 @ 1:25 am

    This is so funny I’d be rolling on the floor if it also wasn’t so sad. Thanks be to God for the real Phillip

  • Comment by LuLu — February 12, 2010 @ 8:38 am

    The tragic,desparate picture of much of today’s “post-modern” mess…terrific message!

  • Comment by Nabal Ben-Nimrod — February 12, 2010 @ 10:13 am

    Orthodoxy, shmorthodoxy…

  • Comment by Annie — February 15, 2010 @ 6:47 am

    I don’t understand this. What am I missing?

  • Comment by Ken Silva — February 16, 2010 @ 9:48 pm

    Well Krista,

    I would say, if indeed you’d concede that epistomologically we could possibly express something close to what we might mean otherwise, this was quite well done.

    Well, of course in our postmodern world, well done to one may be medium rare to another, depending upon how you slice it, you know?

    Seriously though, as one who’s been working the mission field of the Emerging/ent/ence Church, I know all too well this piece was dead-on-target. Blessings 8^)

  • Comment by Tim Sleeper — February 18, 2010 @ 10:25 am

    Stellar! Simply stellar! I can definitely imagine Brian McLaren, Tony Campolo, or Rob Bell saying the same thing. Goes to show you emergents are vague, postmodern, and very hard to understand.

  • Comment by Ryan — February 18, 2010 @ 4:24 pm

    We may all be headed toward the same destination ultimately, but thit does not follow that all tuth claims are equal. Universal redemption does not require more than one road to God, simply that in time all will be made aware of Christ’s Lordship.

    Matthew 25
    When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 34“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ 37“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
    40“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ 41“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the age-lasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

  • Comment by Yvonne — March 3, 2010 @ 8:36 am

    Sad, but this is nothing new.

  • Comment by Don — March 5, 2010 @ 8:10 pm

    I had my son read this and asked him if it reminded him of anyone. His answer was the previous youth pastor at a different church.

  • Pingback by Philippe, The Postmodern Evangelist | CloudofSteam — March 14, 2010 @ 5:24 pm

    [...] I recently discovered this post from sacredsandwich.com written by Krista Graham and published on 11 February. It lands a blow on the postmodern approach to spirituality. Once there was a man named Philippe. He was a spiritual guide in an emerging community. One day he decided to go on a journey. So, he did. As he was walking along the road, focusing on the journey and not the destination, he found himself alongside the chariot of an African official. The man in the chariot was reading from a parchment scroll. He was reading aloud, so Philippe was able to overhear what the man read. Read more. [...]

  • Pingback by A Generously Orthodox Deacon Encounters An Enquiring Ethiopian Eunuch « mgpcpastor’s blog — March 25, 2010 @ 5:22 pm

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  • Comment by SirBrass — March 26, 2010 @ 1:10 am

    Funny, except that it is SO tragic and dead-on correct. As we all know, the real Phillip shared the gospel with the Ethiopian. I’m sickened when I hear po-mos talk this way on things that would otherwise be PERFECT opportunities to share the gospel. God plopped Phillip in a PERFECT opportunity to witness and preach Christ and to see God regenerate the Ethiopian. The PoMo would take that opportunity and bring dishonor to Christ by tossing out the gospel totally.

  • Pingback by Young Heretics Club » Blog Archive » YHC Podcast No. 5 – Part A — April 19, 2010 @ 11:12 am

    [...] Philippe, the Emergent – I agree with Paul, this is funny and sad at the same time. [...]

  • Pingback by Fundamentally postmodern | lingamish — May 20, 2010 @ 3:09 pm

    [...] To read the rest of this delicious deconstruction of our modern approach to Scripture, click here. [...]

  • Pingback by Philippe, The Postmodern Evangelist by Krista Graham | Credo — June 12, 2010 @ 3:44 am

    [...] Philippe, The Postmodern Evangelist by Krista Graham Posted on June 12, 2010 by Troy Vanderhule Philippe, The Postmodern Evangelist by Krista Graham [...]

  • Pingback by Philippe, The Postmodern Evangelist – The Sacred Sandwich « IRONIC JESUS — January 23, 2011 @ 2:51 am

    [...] Philippe, The Postmodern Evangelist – The Sacred Sandwich. [...]

  • Pingback by Philippe, The Postmodern Evangelist | The Sacred Sandwich | Outer Rim Territories — March 26, 2012 @ 10:00 am

    [...] Christopher Gillespie On 12 February, 2010 · 2 Comments Hilarious. From the always funny Sacred Sandwich:Once there was a man named Philippe. He was a spiritual guide in an emerging community. One day he [...]

  • Comment by Rudi — August 18, 2012 @ 2:18 pm

    Very very good! Would that more of our postmodern friends got to read this…

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