From an earlier report by our wayfaring reporter:

Recently I heard on the radio that a local Christian church was going to be hosting a community-wide “Blessing of the Animals Ecumenical Service” at a nearby park this month. My first thought upon hearing the announcement was that the church was having a barbeque and would be asking a blessing on the meat, but then I realized that I totally misunderstood what this whole “blessing of the animals” was about. Apparently they were talking about blessing live, uncooked animals. Go figure.

In case you aren’t aware of this “animal blessing” phenomenon, let me tell you what I know. Evidently there is a growing trend within some corners of Christianity to offer some sort of yearly nondenominational prayer service where all pet owners can bring their beloved animals (or even their favorite stuffed animals, believe it or not) to be ritualistically blessed by God. From what I have gathered, it is a religious ceremony that was first made famous at Manhattan’s Episcopal Cathedral of St. John the Divine, as part of their annual celebration that honors St. Francis, the patron saint of animals and the environment.

Based on a 2003 account of the yearly gathering at St. John the Divine, here is essentially what takes place: animal lovers bring their pets to the main altar of the church in a grand procession, whereupon the attending Bishop gives homage to “Brother Wolf, Sister Whale, Sister Loon” and other sundry creatures, and then recites a benediction for the animals that says, “Live without fear. Your Creator loves you, made you holy and has always protected you. Go in peace to follow the good road and may God’s blessing be with you always. Amen.” Afterwards a throng of clergy go forth and individually bless each animal by laying on hands or sprinkling them with holy water, which could be quite tricky if you were dealing with some kid’s pet tarantula.

Of course, when I first heard some of the details about these animal blessing ceremonies, I had three immediate questions:

• Does God bless ugly animals, too, or just the cute, fuzzy ones?
• Has anyone ever brought sea-monkeys to these services?
• How did the Bishop know my sister was a loon?

The thing that raised my curiosity the most, however, was the fact that these events are billed as “ecumenical.” Now correct me if I’m wrong, but I was under the impression that the animal kingdom has never had to deal with denominational divisions. And even if there are animals of differing faiths, I have to wonder if they even have the ability to adopt an ecumenical spirit with each other. I mean, would a falcon really be able to maintain the proper level of ecumenism with a plump rabbit sitting next to him? Could Precious the cat look past her inherent doctrinal differences with Buster the hamster?

I would think that an ecumenical spirit would be very difficult to maintain, even between animals of a similar type. For example, take a lion and a housecat, and then look at the possibility of these two feline cousins meeting at an ecumenical service. In some sense you could say that these two cats are so closely related that they are the zoological equivalent of a Catholic and an Anglican. Still, I can’t help but think that the lion would promptly eat the tabby before the invocation was even given. This is not to imply, of course, that a Catholic has ever eaten an Anglican during an ecumenical service, but then again Anglicans are an acquired taste.

The point I’m trying to make is this: I’ve watched enough Animal Planet on cable television to know that animals aren’t exactly the most well-mannered and virtuous beings around. It’s kind of hard for animals to develop a proper biblical worldview or godly disposition when they’re spending all their time eating each other. I would imagine that even animals of likeminded faith would have difficulty getting together for Bible study. In fact, I can hear their group leader now: “Turn your Bibles to 1st Thessa… Alright, Phil, did you just put Ted in your mouth? Spit him out right now!”

I realize that this imaginary scenario sounds pretty ridiculous, but then again, this is exactly what happens when these animal blessing ceremonies try to cast animals in the image of man by holding them up as our spiritual brothers and sisters.

I ask you, why do people today insist on ascribing human characteristics to animals? Proof of this phenomenon can be found in the publication of several best-selling calendars that contain photographs of dogs in dresses. Do dogs like to wear dresses? Perhaps they do if the dresses are made out of bacon; but generally speaking, dogs abhor fashion. If you’ve ever seen the “just kill me now” expression on Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua when she dresses the poor dog in French couture, then you know what I’m talking about.

Which leads me back to my main concern with these animal blessing ceremonies: Despite their good intentions, they seem to promote the false idea that animals have equal standing with mankind in the eyes of God. Essentially, they are proclaiming an unbiblical concept whose foundation is largely built on evolutionary theory, an underlying disdain for man, and a fanciful notion that our pets will one day go to heaven. As fond as I am of my own pets, however, I can find no biblical warrant to support the position that animals are holy creatures with eternal souls that are in need of God’s extra-biblical blessing through religious pomp and ceremony.

The Bible plainly states that men, not animals, are made in God’s image to rule over His creation (Genesis 1:26). In addition, Jesus made it quite clear that while God does not forget to care for the sparrows, a man is still of much greater value than a whole flock of birds (Matthew 10:31).

Look, I don’t mind if Christians feel a need to thank God for his creation and the creatures over which He gave us stewardship and dominion, but must we denigrate God’s redemptive plan by lowering the status of man to that of an animal? After all, it is redeemed men, not animals, who will one day be fellow heirs with Christ, partake in the divine nature, and worship Him through all eternity (Romans 8:17; 2 Peter 1:3). To somehow intertwine animals into that equation and speculate that they are equally worthy of redemption is to start down that slippery slope towards a belief in universal salvation. In other words, if Butch the pit bull, who just mauled the mailman, can go to heaven, then what’s stopping your unsaved relatives, who never bit anyone, from getting there, too?

Furthermore, I fear that by constantly seeking God’s special blessing upon earthly interests like our job, our house, or our pets, that we are in some way ignoring or discounting the greatest blessing God has ever given us… Jesus Christ. Perhaps we would be better served to place our primary focus on the blessing of Christ in order to bring about the blessings due to the rest of His creation. Maybe we need to make sure that the blessing of the Gospel is spread first and foremost before we promote ecumenical activities that appear to be more grounded in Christ-less worldliness and self-interest.

As an aside, let me add that I once owned an Old English Sheepdog named Truman, who passed away some years ago, and I dearly miss him. And though I certainly do not equate his company on the same level as my relationship with those of my fellow man, I will always remember Truman as a good dog: very devoted, humble, and faithful in his service to me. I truly believe that God blessed me with his existence, even though he was just an animal. Perhaps it can be said that the Lord, in His unfathomable wisdom, gave me this sheepdog to be another example of how to be a genuine servant. Jesus certainly made such a connection to the Canaanite woman when he likened true humility to a dog begging for scraps from his Master’s table (Matthew 15).

Bottom line: the Bible tells us that God gave us animals as a blessing to man. He created these creatures to serve us, and to fulfill many God-ordained uses including food, clothing and religious sacrifice, which most of these animal blessing ceremonies seem to conveniently ignore or even denounce.

God bless the animals? Certainly. But let’s not fall into the trap of promoting an unbiblical mythology or sentimentality that gives every pet the same position as those people redeemed by the blood of Christ.

Unless, of course, you can prove your sea-monkeys are Baptist.