The Sacred Sandwich



Print This Post Print This Post


  • Comment by John — July 14, 2009 @ 2:17 am

    Chopped down by a roundhouse kick. Love it.
    This sells much better than the Obama Koran (at least everywhere but California).

  • Comment by Joanna — July 14, 2009 @ 6:14 am

    The surprising thing about this is that they haven’t done a chuck norris bible so far. It wouldn’t surprise me if it happens. There is patriotic bibles already.

  • Comment by Jim — July 14, 2009 @ 7:27 am

    Yes sir, & here in Canada we’ve got the Pierre Trudeau edition. Maybe not so colourful as it’s only red and white, but okay, “eh” it’s just as partiotic! Mais oui!

  • Comment by Brad — July 14, 2009 @ 8:28 am

    Wonder if I can get mine autographed?

  • Comment by Matt — July 14, 2009 @ 9:18 am

    Yeah, I can only assume this is due to the release of The Patriotic Bible that was recently released? Why have study notes that exposit the text when you can just load them up with patriotic sentimentalism. After all, it’s the USA that took Israel’s place, not the Bride of Christ, right?

  • Comment by Steve — July 14, 2009 @ 11:04 am

    I am not a fan of the recently released patriotic Bible, but is that really any worse than the Green Bible??

  • Comment by Matt — July 14, 2009 @ 11:09 am

    Steve – I don’t think it’s any worse than the Green Bible (or the TNIV for that matter). The problem is that it’s not any better, either. Both force an ideology onto the Scriptures rather than glean one out of it. My $0.02.

  • Comment by brent — July 14, 2009 @ 11:45 am

    I would like to know this one thing:
    Is this ad real?
    No jokes, just the truth please.

  • Comment by brian — July 14, 2009 @ 12:09 pm

    Scary stuff…

  • Comment by Angus — July 14, 2009 @ 12:50 pm

    It could be a real ad, but it’s not.

  • Comment by Mark | hereiblog — July 14, 2009 @ 12:52 pm

    Could this also be called the “Prime Chuck Bible”?


  • Comment by Dennis — July 14, 2009 @ 12:56 pm

    Praise the Lord and pass the ammo!

  • Comment by steffsings — July 14, 2009 @ 1:02 pm

    What’s next? The CookBookBible – lots of great recipes for life? Wait… Don’t anyone steal my idea, I’m starting on it today: leats see… the ‘Red Sea-food bisque’ ‘Mount Moriah Minestrone Soup….” mmmmm-mm good reading!

  • Comment by Waylon — July 14, 2009 @ 1:23 pm

    “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God that brings salvation; first to Texans, then to the rest y’all.” (CNB)

  • Pingback by Chuck Norris Bible « Sola Dei Gloria — July 14, 2009 @ 1:27 pm

    […] See the full ad at The Sacred Sandwich […]

  • Comment by John — July 14, 2009 @ 2:48 pm

    Don’t forget the Nancy Pelosi Bible, on the last page there is a complete denial of everything that was just printed.

  • Comment by T. Tex Tommy — July 14, 2009 @ 3:00 pm

    Well I’ll-be Angus. Ya done got me all worked up. This may be the greatest thang I seen since…well, I dunno what.

    Most Bibles these days are just plain plug-ugly. But that there thing is purty. And it’s good that it’s in the King’s English too cause you can put your boots in the oven, but that don’t make em biscuits, if you know what I mean.

    Now, if they would only release the “Walker, Texas Ranger Sunday School” video series, I’d be fixin to spend more money than a galoot in a Stetson store.

    Well, like the youngins say, Peace Out. What I’m trying to say is, we’ve howdied but we ain’t shook yet.

  • Comment by Steve — July 14, 2009 @ 3:19 pm

    That’s the toughest Bible I’ve ever seen! I think I just saw an TNIV running for dear life.

  • Comment by Eddie Eddings — July 14, 2009 @ 4:41 pm

    If this isn’t a real ad…then why did the Ammo shop take my thirty five dollars and order me a copy?
    BTW…I hear the Chuck Norris Stars and Stripes Translation renames the Levites, Bruce Leevites. Is this true?

  • Comment by Matt — July 14, 2009 @ 6:15 pm

    Is the CNB a Democrat-neutral translation? Or does that await the TCNB?

    I’d like to see the CNB arm-wrestle The Message.

  • Comment by Nabal Ben-Nimrod — July 14, 2009 @ 7:01 pm

    I’m an Iraq war veteran, and I support this message. (No, no, no THAT message)

  • Comment by Carol — July 14, 2009 @ 7:04 pm

    Now this will be the door prize given this coming Sunday at the “All American Tough Guy Worship Center”…for every new guy coming to worship with Chuck, they get a free copy….this comes along with the all American cup of coffee and donuts…and if ya think they will have to pry the BIble out of his cold dead hands, try taking his donuts!

  • Comment by Joe — July 14, 2009 @ 7:34 pm

    Carol, how did I know that you would make an observation on the apostate seeker friendly megachurchs of America? :)

  • Comment by John — July 14, 2009 @ 8:13 pm

    When Rob Bell saw this Bible he spilled herbal tea all over the interior of his Prias.

  • Comment by Joe — July 14, 2009 @ 8:35 pm

    Whats a “prias”? And what’s Rob doing looking at a bible?

  • Comment by John — July 14, 2009 @ 9:58 pm

    Joe, Chuck would be proud that you are unfamiliar with the Prias, you just won yourself an autographed CNB my friend.

  • Comment by Joe — July 14, 2009 @ 10:01 pm

    Ok, I need to apologize for the above comment, God has been showing me recently that I need to quit making snide remarks about those we consider abberant in their beliefs. There is a place to confront heretics and false teachers, but my comments are often made out of spite and not concern for the truth. I’m not against satire to make a point, but I’ll leave it to the pros 😉

    PS- I’m not apologizing for the prias comment though 😉

  • Comment by Joe — July 14, 2009 @ 10:02 pm

    Autographed with his boot print?!?!?

  • Comment by Dominic Stockford — July 15, 2009 @ 2:06 am

    And there was me thinking that it was the British who are the lost tribe of Israel…

  • Comment by Les — July 15, 2009 @ 8:37 am

    I got me one…. now if can just find my blood red highligher pen. It would be a better Bible if it had just one big white star instead of all those little ones.

  • Comment by kevin — July 15, 2009 @ 8:52 am

    Here’s a link to the “American Patriot Bible” *sigh

  • Comment by LuLu — July 15, 2009 @ 9:36 am

    The next edition of the “CNB” is going to play “Proud To Be An American” everytime you open it.(It might quickly become a forgotten tune…)

  • Comment by The Reformed Methodist — July 15, 2009 @ 9:53 am

    The public should be much more accepting of this than they were of the “Alec Baldwin Reference Bible, featuring the Apocrypha”

  • Comment by The Aspiring Theologian — July 15, 2009 @ 11:01 am

    I know this isn’t true. Chuck Norris doesn’t read the Bible.

    He has the whole thing memorized.

    In the original Greek and Hebrew.

  • Comment by Kristin — July 15, 2009 @ 11:23 am

    I have to wonder if this is the version Todd Bentley has been using for his inspirations to “leg drop” people?

  • Comment by Steve — July 15, 2009 @ 1:43 pm

    According the packaging: “Notice: Do not attempt to use a Bible cover for this Bible. The Chuck Norris Bible doesn’t need any additional protection.”

  • Comment by Carol — July 16, 2009 @ 5:31 pm

    There will be people actually looking for this on!

  • Comment by Gaynell Harbin — July 20, 2009 @ 7:50 am

    Dear Chuck,
    I am so proud of the stand you are taking. God is with you. Many of us are counting on you to stand strong. These birds who are talking couldn’t even do a push up. The heat you are taking is the real heat. They are trying to break you but that is where you see what you are made of. With God you can do anything.We will be praying and remember their are 10,000 of us in the city.
    The Bible was what this country was founded on. It shows the American way. That was a good idea. Thanks for being a great American.
    Yours in the battle,
    Gaynell Harbin

  • Pingback by Chuck Norris Bible « SoCal Theologica: Musings from the West Coast — August 5, 2009 @ 4:36 pm

    […] Norris Bible Sacred Sandwich posted this new product (spoof).  With all of the other specialty Bibles on the market, this could […]

  • Comment by Souldr — September 20, 2009 @ 2:19 am

    There is a scripture that says; “Jesting is not conveniant” so people, please be careful when you slander a brother in the Lord as again the Word of God says; ” you will have to give an account for every idle word spoken”

  • Pingback by Mary’s Anawim — October 6, 2009 @ 10:35 pm

    […] HT Sacred Sandwich […]

  • Comment by Robert — November 9, 2009 @ 7:35 pm

    il buy it only if chuck sings the theme song,yepikhiya

  • Comment by Joshuncc — June 4, 2010 @ 8:38 pm


    Joe, your apology about Rob Bell ended up not being an apology at all, but was instead another way for you to voice your opinion about Rob Bell (again). My prayer is that God would continue to help you make better apologies.

  • Comment by Jeff — July 17, 2010 @ 10:28 am

    I’m gonna be usin’ this version when I commence to Bible thumpin’.

  • Comment by Alan — July 28, 2010 @ 12:23 pm

    @ Souldr,

    So, if jesting is not convenient, did Elijah go to hell for making fun of all those prophets of Baal?
    Even Jesus asked some people who wanted to stone Him; “For which of my good deeds are going to stone me?” I’m pretty sure He was being facetious, which is sort of jesting.
    Also, you are making the assumption that the person being lampooned IS a brother in the Lord. Also again, joking about someone ISN”T slander. If they are truly a brother, they will have an opportunity to be gracious about someone making a mistake, won’t they?
    If not however, their reaction will soon remove any doubt.

  • Comment by Tater2000 — July 28, 2010 @ 3:13 pm

    Rob Bell is a false teacher and part of the problem.

    2 Timothy 4:2-4 “2 Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, REBUKE, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; 4 and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.


  • Comment by Terry — September 7, 2010 @ 6:55 am

    You know, when I miss Church(due to illness), the Limericks are a good way to help me keep up with Sunday School. Thanks to God, and for His gift to the Bus Driver(writing, deciphering the Limericks)!

  • Comment by Sharon Conway — September 16, 2010 @ 11:26 am

    Steffsings, it is a great idea but I already have one being published. Glad you like the idea
    God Bless

  • Comment by SavedByLove112 — September 17, 2010 @ 1:02 pm

    Words of Christ in red–printed with the blood of Chuck’s victims.

  • Comment by Jon — December 3, 2010 @ 1:00 pm

    I just ordered mine. I will put it with my “Let’s Roll” bible and my “NRA” bible (signed by CH himself).

  • Comment by Chucks Bible — November 14, 2011 @ 2:48 am

    My dad was a Infantryman at the battle of the bulge (P.O.W. for 5 months,wounded earned the purple heart.).He carried a small new testament ….how about a small combat version for our boys in Iraq,and Afghanistan. Camo would be best.

  • Comment by Sergio Castenada — August 8, 2012 @ 10:19 am

    More American than the King James Bible. lol.

  • Comment by Dee — January 7, 2013 @ 9:51 pm

    This is now going around on Facebook so I had to research it to see if it were true, or not. Looks like many on FB are believing that it’s true. But being the ‘joke’ that this is, have you ever heard of the Queen James Bible?!!!! Well, believe me … this is NO JOKE!!! :(

  • Pingback by The Chuck Norris Bible! | The Master's Slave — March 18, 2013 @ 5:49 pm

    […] Sacred Sandwich Rate this:Share this:TwitterEmailPrintStumbleUponDiggFacebookFacebookRedditGoogle +1LinkedInLike […]

Comments are now closed.