13 Comments

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  Comment by Tyler — June 18, 2009 @ 7:47 am

  I’m pretty sure there is a statue of the “virgin mary” around there somewhere…

  Big Boy places a distant second I’m sure…

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  Comment by nmark — June 18, 2009 @ 7:50 am

  He went on to explain that foods offered on Big Boy’s breakfast bar should not be eaten if it causes your weaker brother to stumble.

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  Comment by Justin — June 18, 2009 @ 8:17 am

  Sadly, Evan later discovered the stain of idolatry on the villagers’ minds. In conversation he quickly noticed that their source of inspiration was not the Bible, but the best-seller “Your Big Life Now”.

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  Comment by revdrron — June 18, 2009 @ 9:10 am

  “Big Boy makes you say Ohhh Boy!”

  Announcement: The Village of Kalkaska of the Ohboi Tribe and Missionary Evan J. Thackery kick-off a village-wide “Come to Jesus” revival for area tribe members on June 27.

  A tremendous breakthrough has taken place in the village of Kalkaska among the Ohboi Tribe. As it turns out, no one from this remote African tribe wanted to be the first to follow Jesus until the ever resourceful, white-skinned missionary, Evan J. Thackery, introduced them to the “Big Boy” statue.

  It seems that the “Big Boy” figurine fit brilliantly into their current religious system. You see, they already believe in the existence of a higher god called “biggboi”. Of course, “biggboi” is not in the existence of the people; he is believed to live in the sky. He has control over such things as: thunder, fast-food and women and men’s fertility. He is also supposed to be the source of magical powers and it was prophesied that one day a likeness of “biggboi” would appear. The story, handed down by the ancients, told that one day, just before the end of time, a white-skinned man would show up with an image of “biggboi”.

  Today, there are thirteen believers among the Ohboi and the chief (still an agnostic) has granted permission for the Ohboi Tribe members to come to the Kalkaska Revival, even setting aside his own hut for the event.

  The Revival will kick off on Saturday, June 27 with a special Rock the River Celebrity Night at the Big Boy statue in Kalkaska.

  Just in: Along another line, an announcement released today from Big Boy Restaurants International, LLC headquarters, the exclusive worldwide franchiser, stated that the current Big Boy Restaurants International has been expanding its Bob’s Big Boy name into territories formerly held by remote pagan tribes.

  Enjoy!

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  Comment by The Reformed Methodist — June 18, 2009 @ 9:38 am

  There have also been rumors that “The King” of Burger King fame is making an image of himself out of gold sixty cubits high and six cubits wide and will demand worship of it.

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  Comment by Carol — June 18, 2009 @ 10:12 am

  Just when you thought the apparition of the virgin Mary in a pile of monkey dung wasn’t enough to appease the natives, “Big Boy” arrives.

  He’s bigger than Benny Hinn and has better hair! His smile is more realistic than Joel Osteen’s and he’s a better dresser than Rick Warren…ah yes, we have to sneak a reference to Rick Warren!

  Those who refuse to bow down to Big Boy will be forced to listen to Joyce Meyer messages!

  The emergence of Big Boy was to distract the natives from being cannibals…

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  Comment by John — June 18, 2009 @ 12:34 pm

  These villagers appear more prone to eat Big Boy himself than the burger he is carrying.

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  Comment by Carol — June 18, 2009 @ 3:58 pm

  We want to know who erected the graven image of Big Boy before Evan got there???

  There was a lost tribe in Israel…no, not a lost tribe OF Israel, just a tribe that got lost in Israel, turned left at Kookamonga, and found themselves a hungry and thirsting. While their leader was getting directions, another “leader” led them to the temple of Big Boy and fed them foods of idols. While it took their leader an extra long time to get directions, these fools erected a golden image of Big Boy and worshiped him.

  Those of the tribe that found their way, carried their idol Big Boy to this forsaken place where Evan found the remnant of the lost tribe.

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  Comment by Nabal Ben-Nimrod — June 18, 2009 @ 5:25 pm

  Carol you beat me to the Rick reference! At first glance I thought that Thackery was attempting to make an ecumenical attempt to connect with the “man of peace” in the village

  Warren: “There’s a man of peace in every village, in every government, in every business, in every church. … When you find the man of peace, if he’s open and he’s willing to work with you, you bless him and you start your work there. … The man of peace is open and influential. … The man of peace does not have to be a Christian believer. Could be a Muslim. Could be Jewish, or yes, even a Big Boy statue.”

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  Comment by Tyler — June 18, 2009 @ 5:49 pm

  Nabal…that was a mouthful…if it wasn’t true I would laugh…DOH…!

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  Comment by LuLu — June 19, 2009 @ 9:34 am

  Obviously,the villagers simply “look” at the graven image of “Big Boy” and worship the image without indulging in the idolatrous food he offers.(Unlike the American pagans,they are skinny!)

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  Comment by Williebud — June 19, 2009 @ 9:54 am

  Guess they won’t be “Thinking Arby’s” anytime soon.

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  Comment by Carol — June 19, 2009 @ 7:32 pm

  Nope, the pope has first shot at Arby’s. Big Boy is for the savages in the jungles.

  When you have a jungle sized appetite, Big Boy can fill your every need….when they ran out of humans, the next best thing is a Big Boy Burger!

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