The Sacred Sandwich

June6th

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Tyndale Sisters Bible Conference

Posted in: Dubious Photojournalism

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Every June the ladies of the League of Tyndale gather at Nodaway Lake Resort for their annual women’s conference and bake-off. Effie Mae Gilroy, seated middle of front row in a fashionable polka dot dress, won grand prize for her lecture titled, “Beyond Betty Crocker: Biblical Hermeneutics in the Kitchen”, in combination with her magnificent Chocolate Meringue Pie with lemon syrup drizzle. Honorable mention went to Velma Dinwiddie (back row, second from left) for her paper, “God’s Providence and the Church Potluck” and her Gooseberry Pie. Her flaky crust and deft exegesis were the surprise hit of the conference!

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8 Comments

  • Comment by Jim — June 6, 2009 @ 7:04 am

    Ah, yes, these kinds of events always remind me of the grand old Baptist chorus, “God be with us until we eat again”!

  • Comment by John — June 6, 2009 @ 10:27 am

    The only entry in the Junior Division was Becky Barnacle (front row, right end). She gave a brief devotional on “From Dust to Mud: The Fall and Total Depravity of Mankind.” Her prize winning pie was Mississippi Mud.

  • Comment by Angus — June 6, 2009 @ 6:54 pm

    Yep, even the young’uns are getting into the act!

  • Comment by Carol — June 6, 2009 @ 8:08 pm

    Thelma Padiddle, back row, far left, was much dismayed when her “Devil’s Food Cake” was disqualified because she used HELLmann’s mayonaise in the recipe rather than MIRACLE Whip. Her essay was titled “Caught in the Back Row Coming IN Late”.

  • Comment by LuLu — June 7, 2009 @ 10:27 am

    I heard one of the Sister’s lecture on:” The Use of the ‘Helmet of Salvation’ in the Kitchen”.It has kept my husband’s cholesterol under control for years!

  • Comment by Carol — June 8, 2009 @ 10:56 am

    Louise Belcher was ahead of her time when she had “How To have Your Best Casserole Now”…which was her take on 30 minute meals….It’s a cross between Rachel Ray and Joel Osteen….hmmm

  • Comment by Drew — June 8, 2009 @ 3:46 pm

    Effie Mae later after the picture realized that sister Crystal Ball Channeling was blatantly wearing the same dress as her, held sister Crystal’s head in her last place Gopher Gnosticism Cake, causing her to chakra and die. Sister Effie fled the scene, causing many to wonder whether Effie was saved at all. Her picture was posted in all postal offices, and she has never been heard of since.

  • Comment by Angus — June 8, 2009 @ 4:21 pm

    Egads, man! You have besmirched the fine character of Effie Mae without cause. I pray you do not run into Effie Mae’s husband, Benjamin “Crusher” Gilroy. Surely he will desire to “bend your ear” on the matter. Figuratively, of course, but none the less painful.

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