Greetings, dear readers!

A bit of bad news on the homefront. Lamont Gill informed us this week that this year’s Tyndale 500 (nicknamed the “Tindy 500″), which is run every Memorial Day weekend on his farm, has been cancelled due to poor track conditions. Actually, Lamont’s son Junior accidentally plowed up the acreage usually reserved for the race and planted corn. Lamont ordinarily would have reclaimed the ground for the race, but the nice spring rains and the prospect of a good crop have made him reluctant to do so.

The cancellation was a blow to the fans of the NASMULE circuit, who have come from counties far and wide to enjoy our fine mule racing festivities. Last year’s Tindy 500 winner, Petey Miller and his mule, Sarah, were disappointed they wouldn’t be able to defend their title, but couldn’t argue with Lamont’s desire for a higher corn yield. Nonetheless Sarah the mule was none too pleased when Petey had to tear all the sponsor’s decals off her hide and put them away for another year.

Of course, this is also a setback for the Tyndale Sisters, whose homemade pie and lemonade stand was a premiere fund-raising event and a favorite among Tindy 500 fans. Head Tyndale sister, Velma Dinwiddie, is hopeful that they can recoup their losses with a strong showing at this fall’s Apple Festival, but for now they will concentrate on their annual women’s conference and bake-off at Nodaway Lake resort held later in June.

In other League news, the Fellows have been busy this week clearing brush and cleaning cabins at Camp Itchee-Ka-Noo in preparation for the upcoming summer camp season that starts in June. Every year the League invites underprivileged children from all over Nodaway County to participate in a camp experience free of charge that will introduce them to fun outdoor activities, wood and leather crafts, and mostly (and more importantly) the gospel.

This year, all the camp volunteers have decided to adopt camp nicknames for themselves to avoid the confusion of having three camp counselors with the birth name, Desi— an unfortunate by-product of our vibrant local chapter of the “I Love Lucy” fan club. Instead, according to camp nurse Ethel-Mertz Phillips, the three Desis will give themselves the classic Native American monikers: Tomahawk, Geronimo, and Harold. Other counselors have opted to emphasize their Baptistic heritage with such names as Spurgeon, Bunyan, and Covered Dish. As a frequent cook at the camp’s chuck house this summer, I will be answering to “Skillet McBeans,” though undoubtedly the kids will just call me, “Hey kitchen guy.”

Camp directors and twin theologians Emmett and Maurice Peabody (aka Rosencrantz and Guildenstern) believe this will be the most successful camp season in the history of Camp Itchee-Ka-Noo and are praying that many of the campers heed the gospel proclamation and come to faith in Jesus Christ, either now or when the seeds sprout in the future. The Fellows certainly look forward to hearing the inevitable testimonies of God’s grace and provision during the coming camp season, as well as receiving new leather wallets made during craft time.

If you have a chance, stop by Camp Itchee-Ka-Noo, south of Gazingstock near the One Hundred One River, and say Hi. But be forewarned: camp caretakers Grumpy Deacon, Potluck, and Buttercup will probably put you to work painting the outhouses.

That’s all the notable intelligence for now. Lord willing, I will report more soon. May God richly bless you till then!