The Sacred Sandwich

April22nd

26 Comments

The Twin Theologians and the Evil Opie Conspiracy

Posted in: Twin Theologians

twintheoheader

Dear Theological Duo: As a big fan of both Jesus and Tom Hanks, I can’t decide if I should see “The Da Vinci Code” and the sequel coming out in May, ”Angels and Demons.” Can you give me a good theological argument for boycotting these films? — Jim Wainscott, Tempe, AZ

Maurice: I hear you, Jimbo. It’s hard to boycott a Tom Hanks movie, even when it’s questioning the validity of Biblical Christianity. Seems a shame to let any pesky allegiance to truth stand in the way of watching a good thriller about conspiracy theories within Christendom.

Emmett: On the contrary, Maurice. I happen to have my own conspiracy theory about these movies that I hope makes Jim think twice about buying a theater ticket. I’m talking, of course, about the secret ”Evil Opie” cabal I recently uncovered.

Maurice: Evil Opie?

Emmett: That’s right. As you may know, the director of The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons is Ron Howard, a former child actor who played Opie Taylor on The Andy Griffith Show in the 1960s. For anyone who saw the satanic overtones of this boy’s depraved behavior on that show, it should give any God-fearing moviegoer second thoughts about seeing Opie’s films.

Maurice: Wow. I’m surprised Floyd the barber didn’t find 666 etched on the boy’s scalp while trimming his devil-red hair.

Emmett: You mock, Maurice, but I have documented proof. Case in point: Episode 64 titled “Opie’s Rival” that originally aired December 3, 1962. Little Opie becomes jealous of Andy’s new girlfriend, Peggy, and precedes to blatantly sabotage their relationship with cunning trickery. I get a chill down my spine just thinking about the sinister look in Opie’s eyes when he purposely loses a note from Peggy that he was supposed to give to Andy.

Maurice: Not to mention the other episodes where we witness Opie kill a mother bird, lie about his school grades, and later form a teen rock band.

Emmett: Exactly. Is this the kind of person that we can trust to produce proper Hollywood entertainment about Christianity for Christians? I think not. Boycott this film, Jim, before the ungodly influence of Evil Opie spreads any further.

Maurice: Aunt Bea must be rolling in her grave.

Emmett: I doubt it. She was part of the Mayberry Illuminati.

Maurice: Oh, good grief…

Emmett: This is serious stuff, Maurice. By exposing the “Evil Opie” connection, my life is now in extreme danger. Do you think it was a coincidence that Don Knotts died just months before the Da Vinci Code film came out?

Maurice: You mean… ?

Emmett: That’s right. Barney Fife knew too much.

Maurice: ‘Nuff said, Emmett… You better nip it. Nip it in the bud.

Print This Post Print This Post

26 Comments

  • Comment by Eddie Eddings — April 22, 2009 @ 12:04 pm

    Here is an actual quote from Barney. He tried to warn everyone, but it was too late.

    Barney Fife: “All I’m saying is that there are some things beyond the ken of mortal man that shouldn’t be tampered with. We don’t know everything, Andy. There’s plenty going on right now in the Twilight Zone that we don’t know anything about and I think we ought to stay clear.”

  • Comment by Angus — April 22, 2009 @ 12:15 pm

    Brillant research, Eddie! You’ve certainly bolstered Emmett’s paranoia- I mean, argument.

  • Comment by Carol — April 22, 2009 @ 9:25 pm

    Wow, all of that from a man who was only allowed to have one bullet!

  • Comment by Linda George — April 23, 2009 @ 2:12 am

    I don’t know… I’m too young to remember it all – is it okay for me to watch these modern movies then? I mean, I hated ‘happy days’… There isn’t anything evil associated with Gomer Pyle, is there? Or Fury?

  • Comment by Brian — April 23, 2009 @ 6:00 am

    It would appear that the whole Mayberry conglomerate is replete with this reprobate spirit!

    Linda, you may recall the somewhat obscure refererence to Gomer in Ezekiel 38, verse 6; namely, “Gomer and all his bands.” Gomer is apparently in alliance with others under Gog of the land of Magog as they come against Israel.

    This intolerable antisemitic vileness is most certainly connected with the Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission, the Illuminati, the Freemasons, and on and on, ad nausea.

    One can only speculate what evil may lurk behind the name “Pyle”.

  • Comment by LuLu — April 23, 2009 @ 8:05 am

    And let us not forget the evil character “Otis,the town drunk”. What was the devilish symbolism in that wicked scene in the jail cell,when Otis awoke from his drunken stupor to find a dynamite-filled goat,who he refered to as,”Uncle Nate”?

  • Comment by cbutlerjr — April 23, 2009 @ 8:51 am

    Evil Opie just may be the product of Andy’s dabbling with the occult. Remember the lodge – “The Golden Door to Good Fellowship”? Andy and most of the other prominent men of Mayberry were clearly Freemasons. (From the looks of it, likely 32nd degree Scottish Rite, as their garb is very Shriner-esque.)

    I would suggest this reinforces LuLu’s comment on Otis Campbell. These men may have been worshipers of Baphomet.

  • Comment by Steve Martin — April 23, 2009 @ 9:53 am

    Don’t you guys think you are taking this a bit too far?

    The Andy Griffith show is an iconic, 60’s family entertainment program with NO nefarious motives that I can find (other than the neighbor Clara, who was a practitioner of Wickenism).

    If you are looking for real evil, tune into a Leave it to Beaver rerun and look into those shark-like peepers of June Cleaver.

  • Comment by Angus — April 23, 2009 @ 11:55 am

    People, people! If we keep this up, we’ll only give Dan Brown an idea for his next book.

  • Comment by Bob — April 23, 2009 @ 2:20 pm

    Wasn’t Otis a Catholic?

  • Comment by Joe — April 23, 2009 @ 6:14 pm

    I’m 27 years old. What is this “Andy Griffith” show you speak of?

  • Comment by Angus — April 23, 2009 @ 7:51 pm

    Joe: LOL. Thanks for making me feel old.

  • Comment by Brian — April 23, 2009 @ 8:37 pm

    See, Joe, this is how it starts. One generation away and everyone forgets. Mayberry is counting on this phenomenon to cloak its secret side.

  • Comment by J.R. Spencer — April 24, 2009 @ 11:19 am

    “This intolerable antisemitic vileness is most certainly connected with the Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission, the Illuminati, the Freemasons, and on and on, ad nausea.”

    Erm… those organizations are in fact comprised of globalists that would love nothing more to end Christianity as we know it, and in fact already have. I hate to be serious on this website, but this is one thing I strongly believe. It is the spirit of marginalizing those telling the truth about the secret societies that has gotten us where we are as a church and nation.

  • Comment by Linda George — April 24, 2009 @ 11:53 pm

    Okay, lets be serious. It’s not just Christians who tell about secret societies etc. And It’s not the marginalizing of the conspiricists who have got us where we are. We have to take some of the credit ourselves. That’s why we have sacred sandwich, isn’t it? To help us (via humour) to see where we are going wrong…

  • Comment by Linda George — April 24, 2009 @ 11:54 pm

    Just thought of something else as I clicked on submit. How about blaming liberalism and emergence?

  • Comment by Brian — April 25, 2009 @ 7:55 am

    Man, J.R., you took all the fun out of this thread!!

    I have read a great deal about the various conspiritists over the years. And I agree that they are indeed there and indeed committed to the very type of agenda you describe.

    But I have some questions – and I ask them in the same serious vein in which you are approaching this topic.

    It’s true they exist. In fact, the agenda goes back Babel itself. So my first question is: What can we possibly do about it? My best guess is nothing. It is one of the ways and means through which Evil is playing itself out in this cursed world. It will ultimately culminate in the system of Antichrist that we know will reach global proportions.

    This raises my second question: Why should we seek to do anything about it? I personally find the study fascinating. It is intriguing and very deep. But, in the end, it seems to be a waste if we get caught up in it in the extreme. About the only good I can think of is to warn Christians to stay away from such organizations.

    Don’t get me wrong. I do believe in the importance of there being watchdog organizations that are tracking such things. It’s important for doing what we can to preserve basic freedoms. I’m not about to throw the baby out with the bathwater. But I just have to wonder about the value of the amount of time spent pursuing such subjects. Are we losing time that could be better spent in other pursuits?

    Do we study the Bible with such fervor? Do we know what it says about how to bring others to a saving knowledge of Christ? Are we learning what it means to walk with Christ? Do we get what it means to be the church which is His body?

    Does anyone remember or has anyone ever seen some of the Bible charts that were used in a bygone era to teach the Scriptures? Seems like these things were all the rage in Bible believing churches in the early half of the 20th century? Those people were fascinated about learning the Bible.

    I’m not saying we bring back those charts or anything. What I long for is the spirit behind that kind of teaching. All the media available to the average person today and we’re pretty much caught up in sophomoric “me-and-Jesus” rhetoric!

    Oh boy! Where was I going with this? I gotta stop; I’m way off topic!

    J.R. – I hold you responsible!!

  • Comment by Angus — April 25, 2009 @ 12:29 pm

    The main point here is that Dan Brown is taking Christian history and Biblical truth and twisting it into just another conspiracy theory to entertain the masses. Sure, it’s just fiction, but it still marginalizes the truth in the eyes of the world when it deals irresponsibly with these faith issues. I think what he is doing is worthy of being satirized.

  • Comment by Medb — April 26, 2009 @ 9:42 pm

    Wow.

  • Comment by J.R. Spencer — April 28, 2009 @ 1:49 pm

    What can we possibly do about it?

    Expose them. People need information to make an informed decision. It is not impossible for the Christian church to have a revival (even with the current church doctrine which seems to make revival unlikely). This can be precipitated when more people understand what the powers that be are trying to do and come to the knowledge of Jesus Christ.

    Why should we seek to do anything about it?

    God calls us to spread the gospel, one way to do this by showing the falsehood of this world and present the person with the alternative such as scriptural examples.
    Are we losing time that could be better spent in other pursuits?

    Only if you are not called to do such work. We each have a purpose in the body of Christ. This happens to be part of mine.

    Do we study the Bible with such fervor?

    Many of us actually do. Some of us that don’t would do well to do so. But that is a point that should be considered in any ministry.

    Do we know what it says about how to bring others to a saving knowledge of Christ?

    We had better hope so. I sure do.

    Are we learning what it means to walk with Christ?

    See above. Not that my walk is perfect of course.

    Do we get what it means to be the church which is His body?

    As evidenced by most of stories coming out of the post modern church I would say for most – no.

    J.R. – I hold you responsible!!

    Just doing my part to make the world a better place.

  • Comment by Bereanwarrior — April 28, 2009 @ 10:34 pm

    I knew Opie was evil… I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Now it’s all so clear!!!

    You guys are my favorite Twinkies!!!

  • Comment by Ellery — May 1, 2009 @ 7:39 pm

    Whistling, whistling is the thing. The majority of the rhythmic patterns move in a decending pattern of destruction and chaos. In the end there can be only one.

  • Comment by Nephos — May 4, 2009 @ 7:12 am

    Has anyone taken the time to calculate the numeric value of “Ron Howard?” It’s 111 which when multiplied by “6″ (as anyone knows – the number of evil) equals the “number of his name” = 666.

    There need be no more discussion. Opie is evil.

  • Comment by Jazzfretless — May 4, 2009 @ 9:52 am

    As a Christian I was concerned about all the fuss, and the mystery intrigued me, so I watched the original movie. Even though the sequel doesn’t interest me, I found it entertaining fiction. It’s fiction, it doesn’t portray anything as anything, it’s not supposed to be taken seriously, it’s a movie. Even the so-called “based on reality” “documentary” movies like JFK and Ghandi were so full of theories and one-sided opinions that you could never walk away from those movies knowing the truth about either life. Ghandi was a killer of his own people and hated his own father and his son despised him. JFK was morally corrupt and could put on a perfect hypocritical front. So why would anyone believe a movie over the truth? Sorry for my seriousness, but the Christian outroar over this fiction just gave it all the publicity and appearance of legitimacy that nothing else could.

  • Comment by DJPhil — May 4, 2009 @ 1:21 pm

    So Jazzfretless, for your entertainment you give your income to people that purposely want to distort Gods Word and Gods image…???

  • Comment by Brian — May 6, 2009 @ 5:34 am

    I believe that, for a number of folks, fiction really isn’t all that fictional.

    We live in a post-modern era where storytelling is more powerful than reasoned rhetoric. And when a story makes to the big screen the power is multiplied.

    Dan Brown could have written a non-fiction book filled with research and quotes and footnotes, developing his arguments to have their maximum impact – and hardly anyone would have read it. Instead, he couched all of that into a story – and a well-written story at that.

    I read the book; it’s a real page turner. Dan Brown is a good story-teller. And it all translated very well to the big screen.

    And this is what makes it all the more insidious. How many people who have been resisting the call to Christ have now been given a whole new set of arguments to further resist the gospel because Dan Brown’s work? Brown’s arguments presented in the book – and, if you’ve read the book, you’ll know those arguments were the meat of his story – are easily dismissed. They have no basis in fact.

    But people in general don’t know that. And those who are resisting the Holy Spirit don’t want to know it.

    If I were Satan, I’d be proud of Dan Brown.

TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Return to the Homepage