Not to be outdone by the Golden Globes or the Academy Awards, the Biblical Organization Against Selfish Tendencies (BOAST) has announced their nominees for the sixth annual Christian Humility Awards. Dubbed the “Meekys,” these awards will be given to those special evangelicals who have displayed “exceptional humility in their service to God” during the last year. BOAST’s director, Webster Peabody, hopes the Meekys will redefine a growing award industry that places too much emphasis on self-importance and worldly success. “We believe that if the meek are going to inherit the earth, then hey, they ought to inherit some of these awards too.”
Most notable among the nominees for “Most Humble Christian”: Eula Fay Hornsby of Cambridge, KS, who has served for over fifty years in her church’s nursery by caring for the congregation’s children during worship services. In commending Mrs. Hornsby’s humble efforts, Peabody said, “After a half century of handling thousands of dirty diapers, we believe Eula Fay is well qualified to pick up one of our awards.”
Among the nominees in other categories:
- Rick Warren, for “Most Humble Publicity Hound”
- Miserable Worms Community Church, for “Best Humiliating Church Name”
- Victoria Osteen, for “Most Humble Pastor’s Wife with a $100,000 Clothes Allowance”
- The BOAST “Meeky” Awards, which nominated itself for “Most Humble Christian Awards Program”
Sadly, none of last year’s winners were nominated for any of the awards this year. “Let’s just say that some of them got a little too big for their britches after they won,” Peabody explained.
Meeky organizers hope this year’s award presentation gala, scheduled for February in Dubuque, IA, will be more successful than last year when most of the winners did not show up to pick up their trophies. “Apparently, they were TOO humble,” Peabody admitted. “However, we feel confident the turnout will be better this year. Not only have we lowered our standards on humility, but we’ve added an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet and an open bar.”
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